#hashtags

This will more than likely become obsolete within the next few months because internet trends advance and progress so quickly, but I feel the need to address it while it's still relevant. I am, of course, talking about the latest and greatest in online trends; the pound key, the number sign, the tic-tac-toe, the scuff mark, the sharp, the hex symbol, the scratch mark... the hashtag.

The 'hashtag' is a unique and useful symbol that has recently (within the last few years) gained more purpose than it has had in years past. I have no idea why I'm even beginning to explain what a hashtag is, because if you've even touched a computer at least sometime in the last year, you already know what I'm talking about. Hashtags have recently made their way to more and more social networking websites, and their usage is now quite widespread. And while they can come in handy if used correctly, you'd better believe that there will always be those prepared to misuse them. For this reason, and for the benefit and well-being of the internet, I bring you...

Rule #1: Don't be redundant.  Let's say you discover something new and want the whole world to know about it; a new drink for example. It is perfectly acceptable to use a few hashtags to express something about the drink or maybe what you think of it, i.e. "Wow! Who knew apple flavored Snapple tasted so good! #delicious #anappleaday." There is nothing wrong with that sentence. Not that I would actually post something like that, but you get the idea. This is where it gets out of hand: "Holy apple Snapple! Apple Snapple is amazing! #holy #apple #Snapple." This is incorrect. Rather than expressing your love of the drink, it appears to me that you are expressing your love of monotony. It lacks creativity, and you would've been better off just leaving out the hashtags altogether, as they say nothing different than what you typed five whole words ago.

Rule #2: Don't replace whole sentences.  #There #is #no #excuse #for #typing #like #this. Seriously, can you imagine what it would be like if someone actually talked like this in real life?

Rule #3: Don't overdo it.  This is easily the most frequently broken but most important rule to remember. I am reluctant to show you an example, but I have to do so for educational purposes. Please put on some protective eyewear before viewing the next picture.

Stop. If this is you right now, stop. If your ultimate goal in posting something like this is to get as many 'likes' or 'retweets' as possible, you're doing it wrong. In fact, a post like this is the fastest way to get me out of my chair and send me running in the direction of the nearest corner to cry for hours.

...So there you are! You now are fully educated on how to 'hashtag.' Be sure to use your newly-given powers wisely. Educate your friends! Clean up internet rule-breakers! Fight against attacking hashtag misusing ninjas! Whatever!

(P.S. I totally didn't use a picture of a ninjabread man cookie cutter as a drawing reference...)