Wow, what a wonderful morning, I can't wait to get up and get going!
And what better way to kick start the day then by eating breakfast?
Sunday, November 25, 2012
My School Routine Back Then
6:10am... time to get up!
Wow, what a wonderful morning, I can't wait to get up and get going!
Okay, so maybe getting up in the morning was a little hard to accomplish. But once I was finally awake, I just could not wait to go to school.
And what better way to kick start the day then by eating breakfast?
Into the car I go!
Wow, what a wonderful morning, I can't wait to get up and get going!
And what better way to kick start the day then by eating breakfast?
Friday, October 26, 2012
Pundays
What's a bad comedian's favorite day of the week? Punday!
Some people would say that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit or comedy, but I would have to argue with that by saying that puns are far worse... unless of course you're the one telling them. Because for some reason, just that sheer annoyance that everyone shows after hearing a pun is enough to brighten up the rest of your day.
Now as fun as the disapproval you've just received is, you've gotta make sure that you aren't the one on the other end of it. Because sometimes hearing a pun, granted that it is bad enough, can put you in a short state of anger at the world as a whole for the fact that a joke that bad could ever exist.
One pun however, (usually) isn't enough to get you angry or annoyed at anyone or anything long enough to matter, which is why of course you have to have somebody to overdo it. You know the guy. The guy who thinks that his puns are the funniest and most witty slapstick remarks that mankind has ever heard. And you'd better believe he's going to spit them out unceasingly.
But this is your chance to fight back, with something that is known as the "anti-joke."
Observe: "What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?"
You see? The fact that the receiver is expecting a lame punch-line, but ends up just hearing what naturally would have happened, is usually awkward enough to cause them to laugh. Not to mention, it'll probably crush the soul of your annoying boss, or coworker, or brother, or whomever thinks they are funny enough to be the next Groucho Marx.
In conclusion, what did the blogger say after he finished blogging? Nothing, because he's using a keyboard to type text onto a computer screen and nothing he types is actually read out-loud unless of course reading aloud helps this particular reader to comprehend what he is reading in which case this joke would fall short unless the person telling the joke decides to keep it going which would just lead to more confusion and would...
Some people would say that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit or comedy, but I would have to argue with that by saying that puns are far worse... unless of course you're the one telling them. Because for some reason, just that sheer annoyance that everyone shows after hearing a pun is enough to brighten up the rest of your day.
Observe: "What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?"
"I dunno, what?"
"Hey, has anybody seen my tractor?"
You see? The fact that the receiver is expecting a lame punch-line, but ends up just hearing what naturally would have happened, is usually awkward enough to cause them to laugh. Not to mention, it'll probably crush the soul of your annoying boss, or coworker, or brother, or whomever thinks they are funny enough to be the next Groucho Marx.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
The Radio in Today's Era
Let me talk about one of my long-lost friends; the radio.
Even though I was born when the 90's were more than half over, I still consider myself a 90's kid. I watched 90's Saturday morning cartoons, I didn't own any technology newer than the first GameBoy, and yes, I listened to 90's radio stations. I remember "back then", when people would actually flip on the radio to listen to some quality music, not three minutes of an extremely repetitive tune that was probably thought up in thirty seconds. Yes... let me introduce you to: modern day music.
So you're driving down the road with nothing to do...
Okay well maybe that station just isn't having a good day, let's try the next one... Nope. The next? No. Ew. No. Uh-uh. I don't think so.
By the time you're done scanning through the channels, you've ended up wasting enough time to listen to about three good songs. But no, you didn't even get to listen to one because nothing worth listening to was on.
Now before I sound like I'm completely biased, I have to admit that sometimes, a really good song will come on the radio. And I know that not all people listen to/like the same genre, and that's fine, but why then won't radio stations mix it up a little? Why do they continue to play the same songs over and over? I have a theory. I think that now, just as long as a song is catchy and has almost no meaning (no offense to Lady GaGa fans), it can be put on the radio. And because the song is so catchy, you end up humming it forever, so you flip on the radio again to get it out of your head, and so on and so on. All this time you're humming it, it's almost like you're sort of advertising the artist's song.
"Okay well if you hate the radio so much, why don't you just, I don't know, not listen to it?"
It's not that I hate the radio (I'll admit Call Me Maybe is pretty catchy), I just hate the lack of quality being put into the music that is played on the radio, or at least the lack of variety. Not to mention the fact that listening to the radio is a lot more convenient than trying to shuffle your iPod through it's speakers or putting in earbuds that just keep falling out. CD's are a good alternative, but I'm not always in the mood to listen to a certain artist over and over, and I'm not willing to lug around my entire CD collection just for an opportunity to listen to some music.
Wait a minute, that's it! I'll become a DJ and start my own radio station!
On second thought, maybe catchy repetitive music is a better idea after all.
Even though I was born when the 90's were more than half over, I still consider myself a 90's kid. I watched 90's Saturday morning cartoons, I didn't own any technology newer than the first GameBoy, and yes, I listened to 90's radio stations. I remember "back then", when people would actually flip on the radio to listen to some quality music, not three minutes of an extremely repetitive tune that was probably thought up in thirty seconds. Yes... let me introduce you to: modern day music.
So you're driving down the road with nothing to do...
By the time you're done scanning through the channels, you've ended up wasting enough time to listen to about three good songs. But no, you didn't even get to listen to one because nothing worth listening to was on.
Now before I sound like I'm completely biased, I have to admit that sometimes, a really good song will come on the radio. And I know that not all people listen to/like the same genre, and that's fine, but why then won't radio stations mix it up a little? Why do they continue to play the same songs over and over? I have a theory. I think that now, just as long as a song is catchy and has almost no meaning (no offense to Lady GaGa fans), it can be put on the radio. And because the song is so catchy, you end up humming it forever, so you flip on the radio again to get it out of your head, and so on and so on. All this time you're humming it, it's almost like you're sort of advertising the artist's song.
It's not that I hate the radio (I'll admit Call Me Maybe is pretty catchy), I just hate the lack of quality being put into the music that is played on the radio, or at least the lack of variety. Not to mention the fact that listening to the radio is a lot more convenient than trying to shuffle your iPod through it's speakers or putting in earbuds that just keep falling out. CD's are a good alternative, but I'm not always in the mood to listen to a certain artist over and over, and I'm not willing to lug around my entire CD collection just for an opportunity to listen to some music.
Wait a minute, that's it! I'll become a DJ and start my own radio station!
Monday, September 17, 2012
My Addiction to Midnight Snacking
CEREAL.
What is it about cereal that is so addicting? And I'm not talking about the kind of cereal that has six cups of chocolate per bite and one-thousand milligrams of sugar a bowl (y'know, the good stuff). I'm talking about the really boring healthy kind of cereal that usually has no flavor and does nothing but make loud crunchy noises when you chew.
Whatever companies produce these kind of bland, flavorless, cereals should consider one or both of the following:
1. Stop including crack as part of the recipe.
2. Stop luring me in with your colorful boxes and "eat me it's good for you" labels.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not hating on healthy, tasteless, cereals, I'm just wondering why I always have the random urge to eat a bowl of it at 1 a.m.
This is me every night.
And there's no getting away from it either. Every single time I think "wow I'm tired, I'm going to bed", my stomach decides that sleep is overrated and that eating half a pound of cereal is a much better idea. And some nights I'll admit, I want a bowl of cereal. But most of the time I just eat it just so I can escape the clutches of the addicting cereal beast for the night... otherwise I'm stuck awake thinking of the cereal I refused to eat.
Then the disease spreads... You can't help but ask one of your friends or family members if they want to eat a 1 a.m. bowl of cereal with you. It's almost as if the cereal box is mind-controlling you into persuading others into ingesting its magnificently bland contents.
Finally, you are finished with your cereal, and the ravaging "eat everything" feeling escapes you... until tomorrow night.
What is it about cereal that is so addicting? And I'm not talking about the kind of cereal that has six cups of chocolate per bite and one-thousand milligrams of sugar a bowl (y'know, the good stuff). I'm talking about the really boring healthy kind of cereal that usually has no flavor and does nothing but make loud crunchy noises when you chew.
1. Stop including crack as part of the recipe.
2. Stop luring me in with your colorful boxes and "eat me it's good for you" labels.
And there's no getting away from it either. Every single time I think "wow I'm tired, I'm going to bed", my stomach decides that sleep is overrated and that eating half a pound of cereal is a much better idea. And some nights I'll admit, I want a bowl of cereal. But most of the time I just eat it just so I can escape the clutches of the addicting cereal beast for the night... otherwise I'm stuck awake thinking of the cereal I refused to eat.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
The Art of Procrastination
Procrastination. What is procrastination?
Procrastination - to put off until another day or time; defer; delay.
PROCRASTINATION - to screw around instead of doing what you're supposed to be doing and to be more entertained while doing it.
It's one thing to be like: "Procrastinating is the most fun thing EVER! Hey Joey, you wanna come over to my house and procrastinate?" You see, that right there just doesn't happen. Why? Because, procrastination knows better. Procrastination will hide around the darkest corners of your mind... and wait.
One minute:
Procrastination can sneak up on you, or it could do this other thing where it tricks you into 'accepting' it. It goes a little something like this: "Hey I totally should be doing my geometry homework right now, but completing world 3-3 on Super Mario Bros. 3 is far more important!" Now this kind of procrastination isn't necessarily a bad thing. In fact, if you have good time management skills, it could be the greatest thing ever! Let's say... you have geometry homework due tomorrow, that's about 3 hours from now. Start by just accepting the fact that you're going to procrastinate, then dedicate 2 hours to Super Mario and 1 hour to geometry... just make sure you leave enough time to finish your geometry homework.
Now while accepting your tendency to procrastinate and using your procrastination time wisely is fun, tricking somebody else into procrastinating is almost twice as fun! For example... writing out a blog post with pictures to keep them intrigued. Not only are you, the writer, procrastinating but so is your audience! It's brilliant!
Now since we're talking about procrastination anyway, I've decided to demonstrate an actual example of procrastination; not finishing this blog post. Why? Because if I don't use my time to conclude this post, I can more aptly use my time to discuss random stuff that makes no sense important issues. For instance, if you find an orphaned baby seal choking to death on a discarded pickle, help it out. I cannot tell you how many times I see this. It's not that hard to realize "Oh crap! An orphaned baby seal is choking to death on a discarded pickle! Time to use my ultimate 'opposable thumb' powers to dislodge said pickle." (if you replaced that last sentence with "Oh crap! I put my jeans on the 'delicate' setting by mistake!" then shame on you)
PROCRASTINATION - to screw around instead of doing what you're supposed to be doing and to be more entertained while doing it.
It's one thing to be like: "Procrastinating is the most fun thing EVER! Hey Joey, you wanna come over to my house and procrastinate?" You see, that right there just doesn't happen. Why? Because, procrastination knows better. Procrastination will hide around the darkest corners of your mind... and wait.
One minute:
Then the next:
Procrastination can sneak up on you, or it could do this other thing where it tricks you into 'accepting' it. It goes a little something like this: "Hey I totally should be doing my geometry homework right now, but completing world 3-3 on Super Mario Bros. 3 is far more important!" Now this kind of procrastination isn't necessarily a bad thing. In fact, if you have good time management skills, it could be the greatest thing ever! Let's say... you have geometry homework due tomorrow, that's about 3 hours from now. Start by just accepting the fact that you're going to procrastinate, then dedicate 2 hours to Super Mario and 1 hour to geometry... just make sure you leave enough time to finish your geometry homework.
Now while accepting your tendency to procrastinate and using your procrastination time wisely is fun, tricking somebody else into procrastinating is almost twice as fun! For example... writing out a blog post with pictures to keep them intrigued. Not only are you, the writer, procrastinating but so is your audience! It's brilliant!
So let's review. What is procrastination?
Is it something you do for fun? Is it realizing to yourself that you should be doing something else (like your geometry homework)? Is it neglecting the fact that baby seals are in danger?
Is it something you do for fun? Is it realizing to yourself that you should be doing something else (like your geometry homework)? Is it neglecting the fact that baby seals are in danger?
Nope.
Procrastination is magic.
(Now quit reading this and go do your geometry homework)
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